


Heart Fragment

by BlueRoseDream



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Mezzo are childhood friends, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, idolish7 aren’t idols in this AU but TRIGGER is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 20:23:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18351050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueRoseDream/pseuds/BlueRoseDream
Summary: In a world where soulmates are indicated by the tattoo on their body, Sougo absent-mindedly wonders where in the world his own soulmate was. And by a twist of fate, they are drawn together by the butterflies that connect them and the memories Sougo had unknowingly repressed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Happy MEZZO day Shirayuki Hana (@ryochii4ever)! I’m your Dear Butterfly~ I really love soulmate AUs so I was pretty excited to work on this. It didn’t go quite in the direction I was expecting but I hope you still enjoy it. Also have fun looking for all the references.

_ Soulmates, huh. _ __   
  
Silently looking down at his chest, Sougo placed his hand over the faint, light blue butterfly tattoo that seemed to be etched over his heart beneath his shirt.  _ It’s meant to be the missing part of your heart _ , his uncle would say with a knowing smile.  _ A piece only your other half can see.  _ And then, with a gentle expression on his face, he’d spend a moment to reminisce for a bit before kindly ruffling his hair. “ __ It’d be good if you could meet your other half soon. You never know. Meeting them might create a new melody for you to love.”

_ Sougo. _

How many years has it been now since he told him that? He no longer remembered, but the words still resonated within him.  _ What kind of person are they? Are they kind? Young? Old? Do they like music as much as he does? Do they even exist? _

Normally Sougo wouldn’t believe in something like this, yet no matter what he did, he simply couldn’t shake the thought of meeting the other person from his mind. It was so strange how much of an effect this marking had on him. One could only imagine what would happen when he actually gets to meet the other person (assuming they are somewhere close by).

He stood up and looked up at the clock overhead. There wasn’t anything in particular he had to do today so he figured he’d head over to OOO Records to go pick up TRIGGER’s new CD and maybe check out the dessert shop he had come across a while back. While he was at it, he might as well pick up some groceries as well before heading home. And with that said, he made his way through the crowd towards the shopping district without fully comprehending the sight he would see as he passed.

_ A blue butterfly? _

Sougo slowed to a stop in front of the crosswalk and rubbed his eyes to see if he were simply in a daze. The image was faint now but he could still see a bit of stardust trailing behind what seemed to be a glowing blue butterfly following behind a delivery man. Unable to stop himself, Sougo felt his legs take him in the direction of the delivery vehicle until the man suddenly disappeared behind the store he had meant to stop by anyway.  _ What even was that? _

He shook his head. Strange as this all was, he had to have imagined all this. There was no way that he could possibly find a morpho butterfly here in the middle of a bustling city. Much less one so ethereal as the one he just witnessed. Just don’t mind it Sougo. Maybe you should just get some rest later.

_ Souchan! Let’s play together! _

This memory…

The image was too vague to make out but he could recognize the sound of laughter and two familiar butterflies circling around them.

Sougo’s head began to throb trying to remember so he massaged his temples for a bit before heading inside the store. He wanted to know. He wanted to understand why the puzzle pieces were finally starting to reveal themselves. But for some reason, something was blocking those memories. Something he himself must have pushed to the deepest recesses of his mind.  _ But why? Why this memory? Are there any more important ones that he’s missing? _

Not wanting to inconvenience anyone by loitering in front of the store, Sougo hurried towards the section with all the TRIGGER CDs to pick up a couple copies (one to display and one to open) and sample a few newer songs that were just released before paying and making his way towards Fonte Chocolat. He wasn’t one to care too much for sweets but he figured that they may have good coffee and maybe something he could give to Gou to repay him for his kindness. What he didn’t expect, however, was to find the same delivery man that had passed him before in line for some pastries at the dessert shop he figured he’d visit. And like he had seen earlier, the sparkling blue butterfly continued to circle around him as he spoke to the cashier amicably.

“Thank you for all your hard work. Did you just get off work, Tamaki-kun?”

He nodded. “Nn. Mikki, can I get that cake trio and the tarts? Also the cookies!”

The cashier laughed as he rang up his order and picked up the desserts he had asked for. “I added a few extra cookies for Aya-chan on the house.”

“Thanks Mikki! You’re the best!”

He gestured towards one of the tables by the window. “Iori should be done with his shift soon too if you wanna wait.”

In that moment, Sougo briefly considered leaving the store and pretending he didn’t see anything only to find himself rooted in place until both he and the cashier turned their attention towards him.

It was like the world had suddenly gone from monochrome to one bursting with color just like back when his uncle was alive. And much to his surprise, a glittering purple butterfly had suddenly entered his field of vision as it flitted around him before flying towards “Tamaki” to rest upon his shoulder.  _ I know this person. I’m sure of it! But from where? _

He could feel his head start to spin as he tried to hold himself steady until Tamaki rushed over to help him stand. Based on the look in his eyes, Tamaki seemed to recognize him but chose not to say anything about it as he lead him towards the nearest table to sit. He didn’t understand. What was it that was blocking his memory of this person? He knew him, that much he was certain of, but for some reason the rest of it was all a blur.  _ And the butterflies… _

_ It’s meant to be the other piece of your heart. The piece only your other half can see. _

“Sir, are you alright? Do you need me to call someone?” the cashier, now away from the register, asked as he stood beside him staring worriedly at his condition. 

He shook his head. It would be inconvenient if his family or Gou caught wind of him being taken to the hospital over a dizzy spell so he insisted that he would be alright after resting for a little while. Expectedly, the cashier wasn’t fully convinced as went to the back to grab a glass of water for him while Tamaki watched over him for a little while. There was a bit of tension for a brief moment before Tamaki finally decided to break the silence with more concern towards his well-being.

“I’ll be fine. Really.”

Tamaki avoided his gaze and sighed in frustration. “You’re always like this. You haven’t changed one bit.”

_ Always, huh? So we do know each other. But from where? _

“Why are you here, Souchan? I didn’t know that you were even allowed to come to a place like this.”

His voice sounded slightly bitter upon uttering those words, yet at the same time, it also felt somewhat sad.  _ Just how much did this person know about him? From the way he talks to him so familiarly, they must have been close to some extent. Not to mention, his words implied that he must know who I really am. Did someone do something? Did I-? _

His head throbbed once again rendering him unable to form the words he wanted to say. And on cue, the cashier from earlier returned with a glass of water and what seemed to be some kind of pastry that he set in front of him while scolding Tamaki for troubling Sougo.

“I’m fine, really! I should be fine after I sit down for a little while.”

Tamaki looked away as he mumbled something too quiet to hear under his breath.

“I’m sorry.”

Sougo wasn’t sure why he said that but he had a feeling that it had something to do with his vague memories. However, Tamaki shook his head in response and insisted that he didn’t do anything wrong much to his confusion. And in the end, he was unable to say anything in response so he decided to focus his attention on the glass of water and the pastry he didn’t order.

Feeling a little guilty, Sougo reached over to pick up the pastry and give them back only for the cashier to quickly push the food closer towards him. “It’s on the house.”

“I can’t just accept this! I’ll pay for it. How much is it?”

The cashier smiled reassuringly as he stood by his word. “Don’t worry about it. Please take it.”

“Thank you-“

“Mitsuki. Just call me Mitsuki. I’m the manager here.”

“I apologize for my rudeness!”

Mitsuki chuckled. “It’s fine. I don’t mind it at all. You should eat though.”

In the midst of the likely amusing scene, Tamaki glanced at his watch before standing up in preparation to leave. Apparently, he had promised to make dinner tonight so he needed to head home. Their conversation had been awkward at best yet Sougo couldn’t suppress the desire to see him again. “Will it be okay to see you again? I want to talk to you more sometime.”

Upon hearing those words, Tamaki’s expression grew warm as he nodded happily and wrote down his number on a napkin.

“Let’s meet each other here again when I’m off.”

“Until then.”

A memory with a mild sweetness rose to the surface as he watched the other man walk out the door.  _ Souchan. I’ll see you tomorrow. _


	2. Chapter 2

“You’ve been really cheerful lately. Did something good happen?”

Sougo wasn’t aware that he was smiling earlier but he could certainly picture it now that Gou pointed it out during breakfast. For a few days, he and Tamaki had been texting each other whenever they had the time to do so while occasionally meeting for short periods of time every couple of weeks. It seemed that Tamaki worked at several different places on top of attending classes at a local university so it was difficult for them to find time for them to see each other. Fortunately, the day when they could finally talk for a little while longer had finally come so Sougo couldn’t help but feel a little more excited than usual about it.

“Something like that. I’m going to head out now.”

“Bring me back another croissant from the place you went to a while back. It was pretty good.”

Placing his now cleaned plate back where it belongs, Sougo nodded before slipping on his shoes and stepping out with a heart full of anticipation. 

_ You’re very good at dancing, Tamaki-kun. You must really enjoy it. _

_ Dancing is a lot of fun! I especially like dancing to Ojisan’s guitar and Souchan’s singing! _

From the depths of his foggy memory, Sougo could hear his uncle laugh heartily as he continued to strum his guitar. It was surprising to him that he couldn’t recall this memory before, but as he talked to Tamaki more and more, bits and pieces of the memories he had forgotten were starting to become clear again. And of course, now that his old memories were beginning to return, he could remember the butterflies that would dance around them as if mirroring their moment of happiness.

But the question of why he had forgotten these memories still remained. What was it that caused these memories to be pushed so far back? And why does the feeling of unease linger beneath his uncle’s smile? No matter how much he thought about it, he simply just could not place his finger on it.

“Souchan, aren’t you gonna go in?”

Wha-?

Breaking away from his thoughts, Sougo broke away from his thoughts to find himself already in front of Fonte Chocolat. It was amazing that he hadn’t hit anything or someone. He wasn’t the clumsy type normally but he had found himself out of it more often than usual as of late. Fortunately, Tamaki called out to him before anyone else did. It would’ve been fairly embarrassing if anyone else found him just staring out into space in front of the store.

“Sorry you had to see me like that Tamaki-kun. Shall we go in?”

Tamaki placed his hand over his forehead in worry in an attempt to check his temperature. “You don’t feel sick. Are you sure you’re okay, Souchan?”

Sougo’s face flushed red as he pulled away and took a few steps back in surprise. “I’m okay, Tamaki-kun! L-Let’s just go inside!”

Still feeling embarrassed by Tamaki’s earlier actions, Sougo quickly made his way through the doors where Mitsuki stood with a knowing smirk on his face. They didn’t usually spend a whole lot of time at the shop but they were still able to get to know Mitsuki and the other worker, Iori, a little better. At least, well enough for Mitsuki to tease Sougo and Tamaki about their current relationship. Iori, thankfully, was much more polite about it and refrained from making any actions or comments that would suggest otherwise.

“I’ll get a strawberry shortcake. Souchan, what do you want? I’ll pay today.”

Sougo immediately rejected the offer. “I can’t have you do that! It’s your hard-earned money. I’ll pay for my own.”

“I will pay for it,” Tamaki firmly insisted.

He sighed. Tamaki had a tendency to be oddly stubborn sometimes, and during those times, Sougo felt that it was somewhat difficult to convince him otherwise. Unwilling to allow it to escalate over something so small, he allowed it this time even though he felt that he should be the one to pay as the older one. “Okay then. Can I get the Cayenne Hot Chili Pepper Truffles and some black coffee?”

Tamaki shot him an incredulous look over the fact that a dessert like that even existed, yet Mitsuki seemed unfazed as he casually took down their orders before heading back into the kitchen to prepare everything.

“Hey, so uh… I’ve never had the chance to ever ask this but can you see those things? Y’know. The butterflies?”

Surprised, Sougo was left at a loss at what to say since he wasn’t really sure if Tamaki could see them too. He had figured that maybe someone had told him about the story of soulmates the same way his uncle did for him or maybe he had read it somewhere, so he had no way of knowing if he was just asking out of curiosity or not. However, the way Tamaki held out his hand for his purple butterfly to rest on it pretty much confirmed it. In response, he nodded awkwardly and held out his own hand for Tamaki’s blue butterfly to perch on as well.

Strangely enough, he never commented on the meaning of those butterflies as he simply smiled warmly causing him to smile too. It was nice--not feeling pressured to jump into any commitments just because they were destined to be together. In a sense, it also felt a little strange because of the few memories that still felt vague to him, yet Tamaki never pushed him into remembering anything. From the look on his face, it felt like he was genuinely happy to just be talking to him.

_ I promise. I promise I’ll wait for you. So come find me, okay? _

Promise…

His head didn’t throb at the sudden recollection but there was still something missing from this memory. He asked Tamaki to shed some insight on it, hoping that he could provide the missing piece to why his memories were like this, only for him to stay silent and shake his head.  _ Why? What are you hiding? _

By this point, Mitsuki returned with their orders and lightly bonked Tamaki and Sougo on the head for looking so serious when they should be having more fun. Sougo opened his mouth to utter a practiced apology but was quickly cut off by the sound of Mitsuki placing boxes on the counter along with a takeout cup of coffee and a receipt. His smile seemed harmless enough up until he realized that he was kicking them out of the store to actually  _ do  _ something on Tamaki’s rare day off.

“You guys are always here. I can understand if it’s just Tamaki studying here with Iori but you aren’t here for that. You know what I’m getting at right, Tamaki-kun?”

Mitsuki nudged the younger man good naturedly while Tamaki avoided his gaze to hide his own embarrassment. He quickly whispered something along the lines of “not while he’s here” while still hiding his face with his hand in which Mitsuki chuckled and patted his back in response. “Don’t worry about it so much! You two should go do something memorable. It’s been a long time hasn’t it?”

So he confided in him about it. It’s a little strange being talked about in this manner but it doesn’t seem to be a bad feeling. It’s kind of nice. He missed being able to talk so frankly with someone else like that.

It would be nice if they could be that close too.

Sougo found himself thinking such lonely thoughts despite having hit it off rather well while they were chatting via text and during their much shorter meetings. It’s just that he wasn’t used to having this much freedom to hang out with people like this after his uncle’s passing. His father had become stricter since then to keep him from going down the same path to no avail. In the end, it had merely pushed them apart even further.

_ Forget about him. _

He couldn’t do that. Although they had their differences, deep in his heart, Sougo wanted his father to accept him and his dream.

_ Don’t forget, okay? I’ll come back for you! _

_ Souchan.  _ “Souchan!”

Eh?

“Souchan, you’re spacing out again.”

_ Ah. _

“I’m sorry.”

Sensing his unease, the purple butterfly that had been sitting on Tamaki’s hand flew towards his shoulder to comfort him while Tamaki’s blue one did the same. It was clear that Tamaki wanted something more to happen based on the look in his eyes, however, not once did he act upon those desires. Instead, he waited patiently for him without ever forcing him to remember everything all at once. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong,” he would tell him.  _ There would be plenty of time for him to catch up. _

Thank you, Tamaki-kun. Please wait a little while longer.


	3. Chapter 3

On that day, they had decided to spend the day at an amusement park that had just opened fairly recently. Mitsuki discreetly kept a couple of tickets hidden beneath the receipt after Tamaki paid for both their orders in an attempt to steer them in this direction. God knows what Tamaki’s plan was after they were ushered out of the store with good intentions, but it seemed that he just followed the pace of things instead to focus on actually taking Mitsuki’s words to heart and make memories.

It wasn’t only that day either. Whenever Tamaki had a day off, he would invite Sougo to do something enjoyable for the both of them. Whether it was going to a museum filled with simple art pieces they both found interesting or going to a planetarium to name the constellations, they were happy as long as they were together. No. That’s not quite right either. It was more than just feeling content. He felt elated whenever they would do something. It was like he had become a child again—peacefully spending his days with Tamaki by his side. Telling him everything about himself, from him leaving home to his meeting with Gou, while the other man did the same in return.

And with each new memory that was created, an old one would return as well as if all the pieces were finally coming together.

The memories of his uncle helping him sneak off to see him. The memory of him meeting Tamaki’s sister, Aya, for the first time. The memory of him visiting the orphanage they lived in. The memory of Tamaki childishly promising to marry him as he would place a flower crown over his small head. Like sand slowly building up in an hourglass, all the memories began to pile higher and higher as they rose to the surface to recreate the bond he had lost long ago. And that included the memory he never wanted to remember.

After spending a few months together making new memories, Tamaki finally asked if Sougo would be willing to stop by for dinner for a change of pace. Aya was apparently looking forward to seeing him again even though her own memory of Sougo was vague as well. It was a kind gesture, one he would normally refuse had they not gotten to be so close, so he gratefully accepted and awaited the day they would meet for that purpose.

“Are you going to see him again?”

It wasn’t meant to sound so disapproving yet something in Gou’s voice sounded concerned for some reason.

“I am. Why? Is there something wrong?”

He didn’t respond right away, but when he finally did, his words felt heavy in his heart for some reason.

“I know you’re happy right now but you should also be careful. There has to be a reason why you forgot something so important. You’re not the type to be forgetful of things not that far in the past.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not an expert on this or anything but it’s likely that you blocked those memories of your own volition.”

He didn’t understand. Gou sighed and folded his hands one over the other.

“You told me before, after you came back drunk on the day you attended your first outdoor concert, that some memories you had forgotten were finally starting to return. Normally I wouldn’t think anything of it, but your spaciness is kind of hard to ignore.”

There has to be a reason why you blocked out those memories. Being spaced out so sporadically when you weren’t like that before is strange. You need to be careful.

_ Because whatever it is that caused you to forget in the first place will probably return to you soon enough. _

But even if it does, he would be prepared for it. Because Sougo wasn’t alone anymore. There was nothing to be afraid of as long as he had Tamaki by his side. He wouldn’t forget about him again nor will he run away from the thing that made him push Tamaki away. That was the promise he made to himself.

“I’ll be home late so I won’t be needing any dinner. Thank you, Gou-kun, for worrying about me but I’ll be okay.”

He shut the door quietly behind him before making his way towards Tamaki and Aya’s apartment.

***

_ According to Tamaki, it should be around here… _

Sougo cautiously knocked on the door and was greeted by a very expectant Tamaki with his hair still wet from the shower. Needless to say, he found it somewhat stimulating with the way that the water droplets slid down his neck.

“Hey Souchan. Aya is pretty much done with the curry so go ahead and sit down at the table. I’ll be there in a bit so wait for me.”

Sougo nodded, trying to focus on making a good impression rather than ogling Tamaki at the door, as he stepped into the room and was met with a pleasantly spicy scent and the sound of a young girl humming. Upon seeing him enter the room, the girl turned to give a cheerful greeting before pouring some curry onto two plates with rice already on them. Much to his confusion, he noticed that there were two pots of curry in front of her despite their small party of three.

Giggling a bit, Aya placed the curry with the spiciest scent in front of him while setting down two milder seeming ones on other sides of the table. They both spoke amicably about the memories Sougo had regained for a bit while waiting for Tamaki to return only for him to finally do so as Aya was explaining why there was two separate pots of curry. Apparently, Tamaki had made him a separate one just for him because he knew how much he liked his food extra spicy.

“Aya! You didn’t need to tell him that!”

She laughed light heartedly. “But you spent so much time practicing yesterday. I figured you’d be happy that I told him.”

Sougo smiled softly at the scene unfolding before him.  _ It would’ve been nice to have gotten to have this growing up _ , he thought as he took a bite of his curry.  _ A warm dinner with my family. _

_ Forget about him. Don’t go seeing him ever again. I forbid it. Do you understand Sougo? _

_ I’m sorry, Sougo. I’m sorry for telling your father about him. I wanted you to be with the one you love but I only made it worse. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. _

He couldn’t tell if it was the sting of the spices or the return of his final missing memories that was causing it, but he could feel tears roll down his cheeks as he continued to eat. Tamaki was alarmed at the sight as he immediately asked if the food was bad and if he was hurting anywhere to which he shook his head. The food was perfect, the mood was perfect, everything was perfect—he just felt guilty.

Gou was right. He was the one who pushed these memories to the furthest corner of his mind. Because he was  _ afraid. Guilty and afraid. _

Unable to understand the reason for his tears, Tamaki and Aya both hurried over to him to pull him into a tight hug between the two of them. No one was blaming him. No one was resenting him for running away to protect himself. These people just wanted him to be happy.

And in the back of his mind, he had a feeling that his father wanted that for him too even though it didn’t align with what he wanted. If anyone had caught wind of his relationship with Tamaki, it would’ve hurt everyone involved including the person he loved most. He knew better than anyone else that he needed to put on a facade while he stood amidst the spotlights and camera flashes, so he took that as a reason to pretend that what he really wanted was something he didn’t deserve.

“I’m sorry for forgetting you, Tamaki-kun. I never wanted to do that. I was just afraid. Afraid of being left behind. Afraid of ruining your chances of being happy-“

“Souchan.”

Aya pulled away while Tamaki firmly grasped his shoulders and told him to look up at him.

“I’m sorry for making you wait so long.”

He pulled him close again, but this time, for a kiss.

“I love you, Souchan. I saved up for a long time and worked really hard to be able to tell you this. I want you to live with me and Aya.”

“What?”

“All this time I spent away from you, I used it to build up my savings to be able to take you away someday. It’s not a big place like your old house but the landlord is really nice and we were able to work out a deal that would work well for all three of us.”

The butterflies began to glow as they circled the room—covering the area in blue and purple stardust—before finally disappearing into the area where Sougo and Tamaki kept their tattoos hidden. It took a long time for them to get to this point and now they can finally say it.

“Souchan, will you live with me?”

Sougo gave a teary smile as Tamaki squeezed his hands reassuringly.

“I’d love to.”

_ Please stay by my side always. _

_ I will. _

_ Welcome home, Souchan. _

_ Thank you Tamaki-kun. _

  
  


_ I love you too. _


End file.
